Apparently you make a good broom.
from now on my penis is your penis
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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