I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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