LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
third nipple confirmed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize