WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
