I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
where am i from again
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
