I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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