Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
