when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
