I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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