imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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