I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
