How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
