I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
