Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
