Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
