when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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