i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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