So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
