READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
