Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
