We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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