Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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