Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I party with great urgency now.
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