I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
