Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
