Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Floor bacon is actually really good
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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