enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
