PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
