im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
