Jerry, you need to find god
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
