Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize