I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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