There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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