Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
