The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
