Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
