Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
