Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
