i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im six kinds of drunk right now
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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