Banned from zoo.
Again?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize