He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
