ya dads aren't the best wingmen
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
