So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need water and some morals
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
