You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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