I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
