I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
