Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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