we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
