I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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