look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
