Nicole vs. Life
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
