she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize