i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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