This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
