sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
