I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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