I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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