1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
