I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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