I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He passed out mid-signature
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
