I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
