it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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