I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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