Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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