He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
