he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
As shirtless as possible
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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