At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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