look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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