She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she peed on how many people?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
