Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
