Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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